Sad, but true...
The makings of a nurse: part 1
A little introduction…
One of the nifty things about losing, then recovering snippets of a blog, is that I can look back on parts of my life with the voice-of-God narration. ‘They’ say hindsight is 20/20 and I can definitely look back on this time with insight. And as I sit around patiently and wait for the school and the board of nursing to get their proverbial ducks in a row so that I can become an actual registered nurse instead of just a nursing school graduate, I thought now would be a good time to look back at how I got here.
I have always struggled with career direction. I struggled with where to go for college (that decision was actually a non decision), what to major in (another non decision), what to do after college, and really, just about all adult life decisions. I have a tremendous fear of commitment that manifests itself in me not being able to make a firm decision about much of anything.
I knew that when I took my career break back in 2010-2011, I wanted to change careers when I came back. But to what? Ah…that is the question
So how’d I end up in nursing school anyway? Because let me tell you, becoming a RN was the last thing I had planned to do with my life.
November 2012– I was preparing for my one and only medical school interview. I had had an interview for PA school in October, and found out I was wait listed. [I violated every ‘rule’ about applying for graduate school possible including casting a wide net and knowing really why you want to go to this particular school. I don’t want to move so I applied to PA school, medical school, an accelerated BSN school that also has NP program, and for good measure a Speech-Language Pathologist school. I was accepted to 2 programs and wait listed to one and rejected to one. I took the GRE and MCAT within the same week. Yeah, that sucked].
The one question I was really having difficulty with was ‘Why do you want to be a physician?’ [or PA or SLP or NP for that matter] because my truthful answer probably isn’t the best answer. The truthful answer is…’I love taking care of patients. I love working in health care. I don’t love my current job. I want to do something else…anything else…where I can use my brain cells so they don’t atrophy from non-use.’
I came up with something better for the actual interview and on December 5, 2012 I received my acceptance letter to medical school. A week later, I received an acceptance to the AccelBSN program and at the end of February, I was notified that I was accepted off the wait-list for PA school. And all the schools had the same deadline of Friday, March 15, 2013 [Beware of the Ides of March and all]. I had hoped to get into ONE school and be on my merry way. This decision caused major stress in my world which I dealt with by working ALL. THE. TIME. [Really. 18 12-hour shifts in a row…one day off, then 17 more] Around the time I was working every day, I caught fifths disease [most likely from a patient]. While fifths disease itself isn’t all that serious, for me, it led to some pretty severe complications.
I put in a deposit at the medical college and the PA school. That extended my time to make a decision as it was refundable until May 15 and PA school started May 27.
On May 11, 2013, while at work dealing with a patient that required my hands to be physically on her for 3+ hours and after the ambulance picked her up, I very nearly passed out. I’m not squeamish so I knew it wasn’t due to I was up to my elbows in my patient’s blood.
Long story made short, I had developed a blood disorder as a complication to the fifths disease. It needed serious and immediate treatment. I called up the PA school and explained my circumstances. They gave me my deposit back, but in exchange I had to give up my space. I also called up medical school to explain the circumstances and was granted a one year deferment. During my medical treatment I had a lot of time to think. I decided that I didn’t want to do critical care anymore. Or at least not now. While I love medicine, I really couldn’t see spending the next ten years studying medicine and doing a residency. [I really, really wanted to do Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrics, a 3+3 residency, but life is short and time is precious and all].
And so that is how I ended up in nursing school. They had a seat. I accepted. My health cooperated. Classes start in May.